Step Four & Five: Re-Engage and Repeat

A few years ago, a friend of mine and his wife had a baby. I took a step back from worrying about what gift to get them, reflected on how often we joke around, and decided to give them a gag gift. I took a container, labeled it “SURVIVAL KIT” and filled it with things

By | August 9th, 2017|0 Comments

Step Three: Decide to Make Changes

Now that we’ve gotten some psychological distance and done some self-reflection, we’re ready to make a decision about how we want to change (or not change). Keep in mind: The decision must be tied to the insight we’ve gained about ourselves during our self-reflection. In this step, we’re not making the changes, we’re deciding what

By | August 2nd, 2017|0 Comments

Step Two: Self Reflection

I overheard two sisters talking the other day. The older sister was maybe 7 years old, the other was 4 or 5. The older sister asks: “Why do you always copy everything I do?” “I don’t know,” the younger sister replies. “Well, stop it!” “I can’t,” the younger sister says. What a great interchange. It

By | July 26th, 2017|3 Comments

Step One: Stepping Back

The first step towards becoming Independent Enough is to get all the “noise” we may have about other people, or a specific person, out of our heads. Impressions, ideas, beliefs, conclusions, and guesses about why a person is acting the way they act or saying the things they say—this is all noise. Stopping this noise

By | July 17th, 2017|5 Comments

Let’s Review

According to the longest study of adult development ever conducted, the key to living longer and healthier and having a clear mind is maintaining good, solid relationships. Seriously.  Not eating vegetables, not exercising, not drinking water, not money, fame or status, but our relationships with others is the key to our well-being. Knowing this, it

By | July 9th, 2017|1 Comment

The First 100 Days

There’s been a lot of talk about the first 100 days of the Trump administration. Lots of looking back and evaluating what’s been done—good, bad or indifferent. What would happen if each of us did the same thing? Suppose each and every one of us looked back every 100 days and assessed what we’ve done—good,

By | May 10th, 2017|0 Comments

Lessons from a 4-Year-Old

When I’m around children, I’m either taking care of them or waiting until they leave. But the other day, without much thought, I actually learned something from a 4-year-old. It was first thing in the morning when I saw an interaction between two 4-year-olds at the local YMCA. One of the boys was standing there,

By | April 4th, 2017|5 Comments

Saying “I Love You”

Ever said, “I love you?” Sure you have. But did you ever stop and think what this really meant, or did you just wallow in the good feeling it brought? I would say, wallowing and gushing is probably more of what you’ve done. But true love is not about the sentimental feeling we often long

By | March 14th, 2017|0 Comments

How to Maintain Your “Self”

The concept of the “self” is hard to define, but for the purpose of this blog let’s say it’s what distinguishes you from others. It’s you and your foibles, thoughts, feelings, history, baggage, and beliefs all culminated into the present moment. There are millions of selves on this planet, and they’re constantly evolving and developing

By | March 5th, 2017|2 Comments

Anger? Rage?

People from all sides of the political spectrum are more angry than ever before at what’s happening. Some people have even described their anger as “rage,” even at the sight of an opposing political figure. Where does this kind of anger come from? The more powerless and out of control we feel, the more angry

By | February 26th, 2017|0 Comments