Hi, I’m Larry Shushansky, and I had the advantage of growing up in a very animated, boisterous family. Unfortunately, my father was prone to periodic outbursts of anger both verbally and, at times, physically. As a result, I developed thoughts which I believed kept me safe, such as focusing on what other people were thinking and generally staying hyper-alert to the outside world. As I grew older, these thoughts turned into self-loathing, low self-esteem and a immaturity that lasted well into my adult years. I developed a dependency on drugs and alcohol which turned into a severe addiction leading to Hepatitis C. I was often tired, felt unhappy and experienced physical aches and pains.
Over the course of many years, I realized that neither alcohol nor drugs were the answer and that the key to my happiness was in my relationships, but not in the traditional, romantic, bombs-bursting-in-air ways. These ways I had learned about being with partners, friends, co-workers and friends were not helpful.
That’s when I came up with the idea that my well-being only comes about when I’m able to be Independent Enough to figure out what I need to develop about myself to have the kind of relationships I want.
I’ve spent over 35 years counseling and giving talks to a wide range of individuals, couples and families as well as in business settings with people of all ages.
I’ve written about this theory as it relates to many different circumstances in publications such as The Huffington Post, The Everyday Power Blog, The Chicago Tribune, Fast Company, The Boston Globe, Glamour, TEEN Vogue, and many others.
I live in Providence, Rhode Island and am married with two adult sons and an adult daughter.