Larry Shushansky

About Larry Shushansky

Rhode-Island based therapist, Larry Shushansky, has over thirty years of experience as a counselor and social worker. After graduating with a masters degree in social work in 1980, Larry went on to set up family therapy programs within non-profit and for-profit organizations, direct a residential facility for adolescents, and perform clinical work in hospitals, mental health centers, and family service agencies. For the past 25 years, Larry has delivered therapy in private practice, helping thousands of individuals, couples, and families become happier through his unique insight into relationships of all kinds. In addition to an active public speaking schedule, Larry has shared his Independent Enough approach in The Chicago Tribune, The Boston Globe, Fast Company, The Everyday Power Blog, EverUp, and many others.

Put in the Work—Especially When There’s Conflict

The other day a friend asked me, "How can you walk this earth independently enough to not care what others' opinions are? Or to be free from others' opinions and criticisms of you?" “You can't,” I responded. "But if you don't take things personally,” he tried, “then can't you have that kind of freedom?" "If

By | February 18th, 2018|0 Comments

Only in the Movies?

In the movie “Paterson”, a man named Paterson drives a bus in Paterson, New Jersey, and writes poetry in a secret journal during his spare time. His writing is the most important part of his life, other than his love for his wife. His wife encourages him to copy the journal so he can send

By | February 11th, 2018|1 Comment

Relationships Can Be Counter-Intuitive

I am a giver. 30% tips to waiters and waitresses, counter people, Uber drivers; I also give to panhandlers and street musicians on the corner. The other night, I was waiting in line to buy movie tickets and a group of college students were $10 short. I would’ve given them the money if my wife

By | January 31st, 2018|2 Comments

What Do *I* Need To Do

We’re turning the room next to our bedroom into a walk-in closet in a house we bought a year ago. The house was built in 1750 and has paper thin walls, no insulation and not enough closet space. We got a few outrageous quotes from closet companies, so we postponed the project. Then, my son

By | January 5th, 2018|1 Comment

Working Through Differences

We all experience differences in our relationships every day—political and religious differences, racial and ethnic differences. There are differences in the way we parent, the way we work, the way we spend money, and in just about any other area you can imagine. There are a number of ways most of us deal with someone

By | December 30th, 2017|1 Comment

Security vs. Spontaneity

We all settle into our relationships after a while. Meaning, we interact with the same people the same way most of the time. Our interactions become standardized. Routine. That's how my wife knows the answer to the riddle I ask our friends and relatives a million times: "Why do I love bananas?" Most of the

By | December 6th, 2017|2 Comments

The Best Relationships Are 80/20

Most of us think relationships should be 50/50. That is, each person should give and take the “same amount.” They should meet in the middle and they should take turns “getting their way” or “leading” the relationship.” We all seem to strive for a relationship that’s equal in every way. But relationships (and life) usually

By | November 22nd, 2017|0 Comments

To Help or Not To Help?

In our last blog, we talked about a friend of mine in New York City who didn't go "rescue" his wife who had broken down near the Brooklyn Bridge. Response to that blog has been mixed. A number of people said the story made them think of how often they take care of people in

By | November 16th, 2017|0 Comments

Trust Me: They Can Handle It

Recently, I was in New York City. My wife and I were going to the symphony with another couple and we planned to go out to dinner first. My friend’s wife was supposed to meet us at the restaurant, because she had to work late. Just before ordering, my friend got a text from his

By | October 11th, 2017|2 Comments

Don’t Shy Away from What Your Relationships Are Telling You

I have a friend who constantly argues about money with his wife. He thinks the conflict is about how his wife spends too much money while he tries to save by bringing his own lunch to work, making his own coffee in the morning, choosing the least expensive item on the menu when they go

By | September 28th, 2017|0 Comments