We all settle into our relationships after a while. Meaning, we interact with the same people the same way most of the time. Our interactions become standardized. Routine. That’s how my wife knows the answer to the riddle I ask our friends and relatives a million times: “Why do I love bananas?” Most of the time she can even predict when I’m going to use it. At times, she’ll nod her head as a way of suggesting, “Now, Larry. Say the banana thing now.”

Because our way of interacting has become so predictable, sometimes she knows what I’m going to say before I say it. This can feel secure. Familiar. Comfortable. Very nice.

But relationships also need spontaneity and excitement. Times when things aren’t so predictable. When daily routines and interactions are disrupted with something new. Something different. Something unexpected.

Whether your relationship is always predictable or filled with too much excitement, it’s important to stretch beyond where you are now and make a change—even if it’s small. Every relationship has unknown territories; challenge yourself to move forward and explore your boundaries.

If your relationship is stuck in too much routine, shake it up, even if you think you don’t have the time or it seems like it’s too much work. If your relationship is fraught with never knowing what’s going to happen next, calm it down a little. Create more security in your life.

By the way, the answer to why I love bananas is because they have a peel. Get it? A peel…appeal. I can feel my wife roll her eyes as I write this. Maybe next time I’m in a situation that calls for the banana joke, I’ll tell a different joke. Maybe I’ll say:

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
A little old lady?
A little old lady who?
I didn’t know you could yodel!

And wait for her reaction.

 

Practice:

Today, I will look at my relationship with _________________, and determine if it is too predictable or too wild. Then, I’ll decide to do ______________ as a way of making positive change.